.
If only the federal government were
as responsible with our money as Pepsi is with theirs.
The soda giant has been in the Super Bowl ad business
for more than two decades. But this year, Pepsi
determined it was economically unwise to pay $3 million
for a 30-second spot. So, who`s foolish enough to pay
for Super Bowl gold-plated airtime? You and me and
Washington, D.C.
The U.S. Census Bureau will
squander $2.5 million on a half-minute Super Bowl ad
starring D-list celebrity
Ed Begley Jr.,
plus two pre-game blurbs and 12-second
"vignettes"
featuring Super Bowl anchor James Brown. It`s a drop in
the census boondoggle bucket (otherwise known as the
tax-subsidized
National
Democratic Future Voter Outreach Drive).
The Obama White House has allocated
a total of $340 million toward an
"unprecedented"
promotional blitz for the 2010 census. That`s on top of
$1 billion in stimulus money siphoned off for increased
census "public
outreach" and staffing. In all, the census will
triple its total 2000 budget to $15 billion.
Ads pimping the census have already
appeared during the Golden Globe awards and will
broadcast during the Daytona 500 and NCAA Final Four
championships. Some $80 million will be poured into
multilingual ads in 28 languages from Arabic to Yiddish.
Racial and ethnic groups have been squabbling over their
share of the pie.
The U.S. census is a decennial
census mandated by our Constitution. Should Americans
know about it? Sure. Should the P.R. budget become a
bottomless slush fund in recessionary times? Surely not.
Yet, no matter how you translate
it, the census commercials to date have been an
"Ishtar"-style flop.
Global ad agency
Draftfcb, based in (Obama`s
hometown) Chicago and New York, nabbed a $200
million four-year contract to oversee the Census
Bureau`s direct marketing, online and offline general
market media strategies. The agency hired comedian
Christopher Guest to direct
"viral"
spots. One of the supposedly
"humor-driven"
videos directed by Guest and commissioned by Draftfcb
was uploaded to YouTube a few weeks ago. It has racked
up a measly 6,880 views.
"For a
once-a-decade project involving every living American,
that`s a pretty crummy return on investment," jeered
AdFreak`s David Griner.
"The
video seems to be hampered by the same problem that
plagues all campaigns meant to `go viral`—i.e., it`s
simply not that funny. … The joke is a chuckler at best,
and dragged out to three minutes, that chuckle gets
spread pretty thin." According to independent census
watchdog Stephen Morse, the feds conducted a total of
115 focus groups in 37 markets across the country before
settling on the dud of an ad.
That`s a lot of focus-grouping to
get people to pay a little extra attention to government
headcount questionnaires that will be coming straight to
their mailboxes.
Taxpayers are also footing the bill
for the Mother of all Government Junkets—a three-month
road trip by lucky-ducky Census Bureau flacks traveling
in 13 buses and cargo vans with trailers. They`ll be
partying in New Orleans for Mardi Gras and at parades
across the country. In case you were wondering about the
anticipated Census Road Show carbon footprint, it`s an
estimated 223 metric tons.
But not to worry: The eco-teers of
an Al Gore-endorsed carbon offset firm called
"Carbonfund.org"
have become official government
"partners"
with the Census to offset all the vehicle emissions—and
surf off the free publicity to garner more business.
As if overpriced TV ads, online
videos no one watches and indulgent, cross-country
caravans weren`t enough, the Census Bureau is also
enlisting 56 million schoolchildren to pester their
parents and act as junior government enumerators.
Educrats are spending several billions more on math and
social studies lessons peddling the census. Overzealous
census partners such as the
National Association of Latino Elected Officials
have
distributed recruitment propaganda urging
constituents to participate because
"Joseph
and Mary participated in the census." Goodness
knows what kind of fear-mongering curricula the kids are
being served in the name of counting heads—and shaping
the electoral landscape.
"When times are
tough, you tighten your belts," President Obama
lectured us.
"You don`t
blow a bunch of cash in
Vegas." Coincidentally, the Census Road Tour junketeers just wrapped up a
visit in Vegas. Next stop? You guessed it: the Super
Bowl in Miami. Taxpayers should start crying foul.
COPYRIGHT
CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
Michelle Malkin
[email
her]
is the author of
Invasion: How America Still Welcomes Terrorists,
Criminals, and Other Foreign Menaces to Our
Shores.
Click
here
for Peter Brimelow`s review. Click
here
for Michelle Malkin`s website. Michelle Malkin
is also author of
Unhinged: Exposing Liberals Gone Wild
and the just-released Culture of Corruption: Obama and his Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks & Cronies.
